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Being a Constant

Qualities of a good friend could be a long list. It could differ from person to person. What a healthy relationship looks like is always important to know and I will publish that list soon, but I feel pushed in a different direction.

How can you be a good friend? How can you change the circle around you for the better? How can you grow individually while promoting healthy relationships?


It was the most important game of the season in my sophomore year of basketball. I practiced for this game all season, as did so many others on our team. We drove what felt like actual days to arrive to the gym. The other team was good- but not unbeatable. We were competitive, or at least we tried to be. Districts always threw our team a little bit, I'm not sure why. We didn't look like us from the beginning, maybe it was the pressure of it all. Almost one quarter down, I jumped up to grab the rebound. There was about 4 seconds left on the clock before the time out. Coming down, I felt (and heard) something snap. I fell immediately. Usually I get right back up, but not this time. It kind of felt like it was in slow motion, it was painful, I was on the ground, hurt, in the first quarter of our most important game. I was positive I just broke my ankle, but I had to keep playing. Honestly though, I felt like I physically could not. My best friend came over, grabbed my hand, and looked at me and said "You're ok." I got up.


Are you the friend that speaks words of hope, love and encouragement over people or do you feed into their negative self-talk? Are you loyal? Are you one-call away, or unreachable and undependable? Do you grow people around you by showing Jesus or do you discourage them? Do you support their walk with Jesus or push them them to be more like the world?


When I was on the ground, I needed a friend to come along and pick me up. I needed her to reach out and grab my hand, telling me that I was going to be ok. I needed someone I could depend on, that makes all the difference.

There's a story in the Bible of Jonathan and his armor bearer, going out to face an attack on their city. They arrived in the middle of the cliff, where the enemies outpost was ahead, and had this conversation: Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”

“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

First, what amazing faith Jonathan demonstrated. But our focus here is his armor bearer, the loyalty. He supported Jonathan, and trusted him. The armor bearer knew the past of Jonathan, trusted him, and trusted his God. He was the ultimate teammate.


Sometimes all you need is someone to support you, to love you. When we love other people, something in them changes, it offers an openness for them to heal. Loyalty and love foster a safe place for people to be themselves, to have faith. Our faith inspires others. The words we speak over people impacts their lives.

So who are you?

Are you a friend that brings someone up, offers that safety, picks them up after they have fallen?

Do you have friends that you can depend on to be there with you through thick and thin? That's a true monkey, someone you can depend on no matter what, a constant. Someone with you heart and soul.

How can you find that friend? How can you be that friend?

My last challenge for you, if you have a constant, text them and say thank you. Thank that person for being in your life, for being reliable and helping you grow. If you don't, find a healthy constant. Most of all, become a constant, it might change someones life.

Grace and Peace,




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