This is for those of you that feel like your anxiety will never get better.
This is for the ones of you stuck in depression.
This is for you who are overwhelmed with fear.
This is for the ones who think there is no hope.
I want to tell you a story.
The storms of life can be overwhelming. The anxiety can feel like it's too much. Sometimes fear feels paralyzing. I don't know exactly what it is that you're facing, but I want to share with you what I have found-true peace.
For a little while now, my anxiety has felt very overwhelming. I wake up with it, it comes on randomly, and sometimes it's so overwhelming I feel like I can't even move. At times it felt too much to handle, like I couldn't even do it on my own (shoutout to the people who have been there with me), but it felt like I was always going to be in this chaotic state of mind. Even when I tried to calm down my thoughts, I couldn't. It truly felt like there was no escape from it.
There's a story in the Bible that I love. It's common, but don't tune me out yet. Jesus is hanging out with His friends and they got into a boat. Jesus fell asleep while they are on the boat, but a furious storm came upon the lake. Jesus' friends become terrified, feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
I think that's what my anxiety feels like sometimes, just like a furious storm in my mind- out of control, terrifying, and even leaving me with the feeling of helplessness.
But remember, as the storm was going on Jesus was in the boat. His panicked friends soon wake him up in the midst of their fear, and ask Jesus to save them because they feel they are going to drown.
Jesus replies with a question, "Why are you so afraid?" and then calms the storm to complete peace.
I think Jesus asked them this question because He was in the boat. They should've rested knowing that the Creator of the world was there with them, He was in control, He wasn't going to leave them. But He still saw their fear, their anxiety, and calmed the storm.
On Wednesday at church, I had a few people gather around me and pray for the anxiety I described to you. As they were praying I kept trying to surrender, I was telling God how overwhelming it was. I told Him it's hopeless- it feels like it won't get better. I told Him I don't even feel like He is listening to me because of these thoughts. I was wrestling with anxiety and with God. Multiply people prayed, but my anxiety stayed. I was expecting it to just be gone, but it stayed. I was still in my storm. Then someone started to read this promise of God: "Cast all your anxieties on Him and the peace of God..." but where was the peace? I interrupted the scripture reading with my thoughts. My storm kept going. The waves of anxiety were louder than this promise. I told Him: "I do give my anxiety to You, but bad things still happen, how can I feel stable? How can I trust you when everything is not ok? I'm holding on to anxiety because this is one thing you won't control." She kept reading "...which passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." And then, I can't explain it. At that moment, Jesus broke through my storm. He called it to peace. He interrupted my thoughts, my anxieties, my words of doubt with this sentence "I am in control." Just like He calmed the storm on the boat and rebuked the winds and waves with words of stillness, He pierced my heart with the promise that He is in control so I don't have to be. He is in my boat, why should I fear?
King Jesus is forever by my side. My storm can not rival the peace of God.
This peace was truly beyond understanding. My storm was truly calmed. I've never experienced any sense of peace like this.
I want you to remember this: you may feel like you are alone. You may feel like your storm of anxiety is too much to handle. You may feel like God is not calming your storm, like peace is too far for you to grasp. You might feel like peace isn't even real, like God isn't even there. You might not believe it, but I am here to tell you: Jesus is in your boat right now. Your storm rages but it can not stand against the perfect peace that Jesus promised you.
The peace I experienced truly passes understanding. There is no explanation except for Jesus. He is waiting for you to call to Him. He is waiting to tell you not to be afraid, to calm your storm.
No matter where you're at in life, I want you to call out to Jesus right now.
He is there and He is ready to calm your storm. Speak this promise of God over your life: "The peace of God will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus."
Grace and peace,
Evelyn
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